Online dating- Is it Good or Bad?

I often wonder at times why so many people get caught up in the world of online dating, and how so many people  are willing to take the risk to meet someone while knowing in the back of their minds that things might not be as good as they may seem.  There is a show that I watch that deals with just that issue, and in a way I always feel bad for the people involved but also in a way I don't.  The reason I am so passion about this subject is because I once was a victim of online dating, and I almost left the United States to marry a guy in whom I thought I was madly in love with.  You see I had met this guy on a legitimate dating website, and so I thought that everything would be safe.  It seemed so good to be true.  I was young and I was so desparate to be married and to have kids.  Isn't that what every girl wants.  Doesn't every girl picture herself in that fairytale wedding gown, and doesn't she picture her father walking her down the aisle with her prince charming waiting for her at the alter.  I was sure that this guy was to be my prince charming.  We e-mailed each other every day and we also talked on the phone frequently.  The only problem was that he lived in Nigeria, and so how was he going to come to the United States.  Well the solution was for me to go to where he was right? It sounded good, but in reality it probably was not the best thing to do.  The amazing thing was that even though I had people in my life who were so supportive I knew that they were hoping and praying that I did not make the unwise decision to go.  Then it happened red flag number one.  On one occasion when this guy had called my father answered the phone.  He was very rude to him and refused to speak to him, he just demanded to speak to me.  Obviously this guy had other intentions in mind, and maybe he was afraid that my father would catch on to him, and in that case the light would turn on in my mind and then it would be over right.  The next red flag was that over a period of several weeks when I called the cousin of this guy answered.  There it was plain as day, there was a possibility that this guy was trying to set me up with his cousin.  There also was other realities that I was made aware of, such as being used a sex slave.  It was after much thought that I made the decision to cut ties with this person.  The crazy thing that it has been years later and I still remember the name of this guy, and I can't help fathom to think of what my life would have been like if I had left tthis country to marry this guy. 
I know that there are people out there who have gone through a similar experience and I know that there are parents who have a child who has been a victim of an online dating scam or has married someone they met online and it has not been picture perfect like they thought it was going to be.  It is to those parents who have a child who married someone they met online and has a not so picture perfect marriage in whom I want to speak to.  As a mother or father I know that it is extremely hard to watch your child go through the experience that they are having.  The first thing that you need to know is that your child knew what they were doing and that they honestly believed everything they heard and saw via the computer and or skype/telephone.  They allowed themselves to, "fall in love," so fast that they could prove to everyone especially you that things would work and that everything would be just fine.  They didn't want you to worry or to be afraid so they left out details that would concern you, and they only told you what you wanted to hear.  While what I am saying is harsh often times this is the case.  Maybe you got lucky to meet the person that they were dating at least once, in hopes that your fears and concerns would be laid to rest.  You see they wanted you to be happy for them, and in knowing that you were happy they were happy.  Now they are married and now what things are not as picture perfect as they seemed to be, and your hands are tied, and you want to help them but you know if you do then things will become much worse than they are.  I hate to say this but your child chose to marry the person they met online, they must choose whether or not to leave.  Your child is an adult, I know that is harsh.  You can support them and be there for them, but the decision to leave is up to them. 
Now for the indiviuals who are stuck in these marriages, if things are not working out then end it.  I feel that it is much better to end it that to be miserable and unhappy.  There are other things that I would say but I fear if I do there are people out there who will suffer because of what I say.  So with that being said I will leave things as they are.

Do We Worship God Or Do We Worship Guns?

This was written by my father a week after the shooting a Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut.  So without further adieu these are his words.
"Sitting thinking of the tragedy that happened last Friday, I start to reflect on what had happened, still not being able to make sense of what happened.  The only thing that I could not let go is why would a lady like that have so much fire power, and what was she so afraid of, that she had to arm herself to that degree. 
Beating my head on the wall, what, then it came to me.  The election of the first black President may have played a big roll in it.  Since the election of Obama there has been a cry out or we have lost our country and our way of life.  We were in danger and we were moving to a social society and they were coming to take our hard earned wealth and our society was about to unravel.  It was pushed hard and some of the God fearing people forgot about God and started worshiping their gun.  Instead of in God we trust it became in guns we trust.  And the bigger and badder the gun, the more the arms race began.  We look at some people as the bad guys and they must prepare themselves for the collapse.  But in the heartbreak of it all, the collapse happened at Clackamas Town Center in Portland Oregon and at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut."

 

In Loving Memory of the lives lost at the Clackamas Town Center in Portland Oregon and in the lives lost in Newtown Connecticut.

 

And for the survivors and the families may the healing begin.

 

In Heaven those sweet angel's from Sandy Hook Elementary are now watching over you may their memory never die.



I often spend a lot of time thinking and conteplating on matters that are heavy on the mind, and I find myslef trying to think of different ways that those situations could be resolved or what could be done differently.  Often times when heavy matters are weighing on my mind I tend to turn to my father and as we talk about whatever it is that is weighing on my mind he is able to broaden my understanding and he provides new insight on the matter.  I have started other blogs but they never really stuck, becasue at the time I was excited for the idea of starting them but then other things got in the way and I never really stuck to it.  So here I am once again starting a blog, with the intentions of actually keeping it up and not forgetting about it.  The difference about this blog in comparison with my others is a times there will messages that have been written by my father.  So in truth this is our blog, and not just mine.  I hope that as you read my posts and the posts that come from my father that you will find a message that is inspring and that will encourage and motivate you to go out there and make a change in the world.